Its raining outside…and inside too!!
I have tried hard to let this rain come out and fall and to let my pain come out with tears but I can’t. I have been so addicted to cry with my soul that i cant do that alone and my soul is not ready to help me… may be because it is going through some bad situations and stuff too!….that’s why….but these tears falling inside me are cutting me inside and hurting me bad. I am missing my Allah but He is still angry with me. He is not making my pain less. I want peace, I want happiness around me, I want satisfaction, I want fulfillment but there is nothing….I don’t know how long i ve to wait to get a single thing out of them…!!
I am feeling like crying hard so much but there is no one with me…this pain is breaking my heart and i don’t wanna cry alone. There was always life in me…I have never experienced that restlessness before but why I am feeling lifeless inside now? I am SO bad to be treated like this? I expect alot from people and in return get nothing. My life is a joke, a serious joke. Allah is not with me because i failed in His recent exam. I love Him but He is taking care of others at present and not caring for me. My soul has done bad to me. I always ignore, but I am a human and how can I live with just words and stay happy with words and when words don’t match with deeds? I don’t have more words right now, but I learnt…. humans are cruel..and so are feelings…!!
Dear Diary! Some people in this world are born to be alone.They have alot of people around them but they are still alone. Lonliness is their only friend and when they find no one to share they tell everything to a diary who can’t answer but can listen. You know diary these people are useless too. they don’t have a purpose in life, they dont give benefit to anyone and they areof no use but they are still here in this world, interacting with people and causing only problems and no help to them. and you know what I am one of them! haha….yeah! I have no importance in the eyes of anyone. My parents love me (as they say) because I am their daughter….and they treated me just as a daughter and never like a friend. My absence will cause no harm to anyone. Sometimes I think… why Allah has sent me to this earth? If He likes when people help other people and if I can’t be helpful to anyone then why am I here? and I know one day i will find an answer to that. You are my only friend diary! now stay with me….dont leave me in the worst situations like others do…..!!